When I woke up this morning, you're the one I'm thinking.

Well, I woke up at 6.50+ am and went to the kitchen to check out what's for breakfast. And most of the foods were finshed by my nephews. hmph. Malang. :'( Nevermind. Namanya jua panuh rumah pasal ramai, manakan.. urang bangun awal banar sudah aku pukul 6 lalu.

Durang Fathin, Zaki, Nabil, and Shirah mengaji arah surau. Durang Mama and Bapa went to kubur. And then kan ke kedutaan Indon karang uruskan visa bibi pasal bibi kan balik cuti. Then tau ku tu kan kemana durang. Durang kan ke pasar Gadong tu lapas atu. Tempat yang paling ku inda suka pasal manusia-manusia nya disana atu..paham-paham tah.

Abang GRais went to work around 7 tadi. And durang Ka Tini balik ke banglo durang pukul 9 lalu tadi. sampat begambar lagi tadi with durang Isaac and Ayu.



Then buka laptop, wireless mau sudah. Then check facebook, si Manis ada inbox. haha. :D You made me smile again Manis.

Now, I'm going to do my Socio homework. Wohoo. Then revise Geo, just in case esuk sir bagi exercise. and then kan revise Chemistry. :D

Plus it's 21 more days left to Pa G Sabtu's wedding. Mannn! I know, I'm going to have to be the photographer again. Hope cuzz Qeyqie, Akid, Ziqah and Zimah will take the new mother with an open heart. Because Aunty Shidah is a kind person. Although I know, there'll never any woman to replace their late mother, Babu Sufiana. *al-fatihah*

Ziqah, Aunty Shidah, Qeyqie and Zimah a.k.a Zimbabwe *yang damit*

Aunty Shidah and Mama Tua my nenek yang paling supporting, Hajah Mariam Mat Rais.

Pa G Sabtu and family, plus QeyQie's boyfriend, Danny at the back.

And also, today is the 17th year of my late aunt Norsiah left the world. *al-fatihah* My cousin Zaim and Syafeenaz's late mother. And no one can even replace thier late mother in their heart, even until now they even remember their late mother.

To my cousins Zaim, Syafeenaz, Akid, Qeyqie, Ziqah and Zimah;
"Kamu... sabar ahh. I know your late mothers will be proud of you if they saw you grow up as kind people. and they'll be really happy if they knew that you still remember them not only in your memories, but also in your heart."

Courtesy of the two pictures from "Pa G Sabtu's Engagement ceremony Part II" uploaded by Asri Isaac Sr. and Photographed by Wardah Hj Isa.

A reminder for myself.

Things that I’ve learnt from what has happened.

1) Don’t trust someone too easily because they’ll in time bite you from your back or even worse, slowly through your heart. Especially a guy.

2) Don’t make fool of yourself, because you’ll be fooled very easily.

3) Even best friends can stab you, so don’t rely so much on your best friend. I’ve been in this condition where (a) She stole my boyfriend, yes, she was my best friend but now not so. And (b) Your own best friend makes use of you just because you’re a good student, and she’s trying to spoil you through blaming things that you don’t do.

4) Don’t get into a relationship with your good friend, because if things doesn’t go through the flow, you’ll eventually break your friendship.

5) Never hope so much from someone who’s really good in socializing because you don’t want to get embarrassed on your own for your stupid one-sided love.

6) Never believe when a guy say “I love you forever” because it will NEVER happen. And don’t fall for stupid unlikely promises.

7) When your mom say that your boyfriend is ‘not-that-loyal type’, believe it. Because your mom gives the best advice for your own good. Believe me, because I’ve actually been in that state not once but twice.

8) When you’re broken, don’t let that stupid feeling of yours control your whole brain. Wanna know why? Because that stupid feeling doesn’t make any use and it doesn’t even make any difference to what he did to you. How? Just think that there are better guys out there who deserves you.

9) Being beautiful outside is the worst thing:
Because (a) A guy that wants you to be his girlfriend would only actually want to show off your outside beauty and not your inner beauty. (b) Even your friend, will only want to be friends with you just because you’re pretty so that they’ll get more friends and it’ll help make them a popular kid. (c) Having so much admirer doesn’t help. (d) It doesn’t make any difference with being a bimbo.

10) Don’t get confused by the word ‘like’ and ‘love’ because they’re not even the same. If a guy say that he likes you, then it’ll just be a temporary feeling but if he say that he loves you, then his feeling will last much longer than the guy that likes you. And if you like a person, just forget about it because it’s just for a while but if you really like that person just go ahead and like him, it’s not even wrong but if you get heartbroken then blame yourself and not him because it’s you who puts so much stupid hope on him.

11) If a guy tells you that he likes you, don’t get mistaken easily. Because you may not be the only one person that he likes, there maybe more than 3 or 4 or more girls that he likes.

12) The most important thing is that, don’t be too naïve.

13) The best thing to get your stress relieved after a break-up is to swear him with what he deserves. Or just let other things get into your mind so that you don’t get too stressed up. And don’t give any space for another chance for those kind of guys.

So far this is what I have experienced. Well, I’m not saying that I have so much experience in this that I’m an expert. But it’s just that, I can’t stand to be a fool of myself and for everyone.

I’m not giving advice to anyone, so no offense. It’s actually just a reminder for me, to not get myself be fooled by anyone and of course, myself. I’m still hating myself right now, because I can sometimes forget about what have happened and that I didn’t actually learn for my mistake earlier.

I’m not saying that I don’t trust guys anymore, but it’s just hard for me to trust them because of what I have experienced. And I’m still thinking of how to get rid of those heartache which keeps following me since 2-3 years ago. Because it really hurts. I can’t even see or even read his **ex-** status on facebook because it just hurts!. And being cheated, is the worst thing which I’d like to avoid since I don’t want to get hurt for the third time. GOSH! I HURTS SO MUCH! I’m just a plain thin glass which can be broken easily, so guess that’s what I’ll still be in the future.

I want to escape from this hurting feeling which I’ve been able to get rid of in the past years, but it’s just that I don’t know why it’s coming back to me. I’m just hoping that this feeling will go away by tomorrow morning when I wake up from my sleep because it’s been haunting me since this morning at school. Felt like I wanted to cry, but it wouldn’t make any good it’ll only make people say that I’m just a crazy depressed little girl, but I’m not! AKU SAKIT HATI SAJA BAH ULEH IA!

I think atu saja kali, pasal aku inda sambung lagi. Ngalih ku sudah memikirkan pasal barang inda be-faedah.

DAMN DAY

Hello~, it's Monday and it's the starting of a long week. I dont know what will happen through out this week but hopefully it'll be less stressful than I thought.

Economics was sajuk this morning. Concentrated much. Wohoo..

GP debate was a disaster for mine. ARGHH! Why did I get so confused to the timing?? But nevermind at least I can give 2 points in 1 minute. And still Ms Fleur complimented my style of speaking, because everything just goes out from my mind when spoke tadi, and I didn't even look at my notes. And something happened after the debate, which I'm going to tell si Manis about.


Chemistry, well it was a no-lesson-session again. And we did an exercise again. My Chemistry homework given on Saturday is not finished yet, because I have no idea what the question means. So I figured out to ask durang si Mira lagi tomorrow.

Sociology, as si Manis had copy&paste from Sir Charles status.. we were given homework tadi but the due day will be next week Saturday, and we will also be given another essay question on Wednesday. Hmphh.. Ngalih..

Lunch.. well, had lunch.. makan mee goreng but I only ate half of it because I was full. Dont know why I got full after eating only half of it.

Lapas lunch around pukul 12.45pm turun ke bawah arah durang Nurin, we thought that AVA Room buka sudah, but then sudah kami kesana alum lagi buka.. so the whole class went to the PS table arah foyer, biasa lepak.. and si Manis was there. Manis.. I saw you too. Mau cakap dapan-dapan? hmmmm.. Malu lahh, urang lagi ramai.. haha..

Then we had Geo, at the AVA Room since Nazurah and Qianah had presentation. It was.. fun, and I didn't get sleepy. But.. haha.. my comment is that.. I dont think that they're actually explaining to the class. But anyways, it was really brave of them to be the first and second presenter.

Balik rumah ikut Uncle G Kudil tadi, and talked to Faiz about how bad I was during the debate. And I was really stressed out about it. Then Faiz said "Inda apa-apa tu.. haha, at least kau dapat elaborate 2 points in one minute.." Then okaylah, give up talking to him, karang mental ia pasal aku balik cakap yang aku teruk tadi masa becakap time debate. Haha.

And Manis ku.. aku rindu kau. :'( Banar ni inda mau tau apa lagi yang kan ku cakap tadi pagi?? ada pulang lagi yang kan ku cakap for pembuka kata tadi pagi, but I cant think of any word to say it. But anyways, at least jumpa Manis tadi.. so okay lahh..

I think that's all for now, because I have Economics notes to write, arranging GP papers, Chemistry homework to do, and Sociology research to be done. Inda ku mau batah-batah membuat lagi..